3.2 miles: While I was running today, I was reflecting quite deeply on this idea of constructive criticism and the beauty of moving past internal barriers through accepting criticism graciously. And I was trying to rack my brain when I officially released myself that constructive criticism is not a death sentence. I truly believe children are born perfectionists (this is an innate quality) and I myself was one from birth. I was always a deep reflective individual, and I constantly analyzed myself to the point where I did (and sometimes still do) drive myself crazy. However, as a child, I really hated constructive criticism because to me- I looked at it as something incredible negative that shook my optimism and my purpose whereas I soon began to realize that if I did not start taking that criticism and growing myself- I would not see myself change in the way I wanted to. As a teacher, I have always struggled with the use of constructive critcism because I clearly remember my kindergarten experience where the teacher  stomped over to where I was, ripped off the reindeer antlers from my craft project and then told me I was a horrible "direction follower." Experiences such as these really do stay with you for a lifetime. That approach did not resonate with me. I get it. Understanding the importance of constructive feedback is difficult. It hurts sometimes because it's this constant reminder that there is always room for improvement, that you CAN be better. And that can sometimes be quite daunting. And completely exhausting if I am being honest with myself.

This year-in particular-I have a class who loves to critique each other but very rarely like to receive constructive criticism themselves. I have had many tearful chats with students about bettering themselves through their writing or their math work or their comprehension whilst trying to make sure their confidence remains but also trying to get them to realize that feedback is a positive thing not a negative thing! And so while running today, I reflected back to that moment in which this constructive feedback negative loop changed within me, and I believe that it was one particular person who changed my perception of feedback and it was my flute teacher, Rhian Kenny. Hopefully she read this post and if not (I hope she reads it someday.) It was hard to explain but when I came to her as a flute student-I was a complete mess. I was holding my flute incorrectly, I was blowing through my flute incorrectly and there were so many "bad habits" with my technique I cannot even begin to explain what needed to actually be fixed. Regardless, the amount of constructive feedback she gave me was plentiful-but she did it in a way that completely motivated me to fix myself without simulatenously feeling horrid for having to change myself. In fact, I left that first lesson realizing I wanted to change everything about myself and my playing-my heart opened up to the importance of feedback. If Rhian told me to practice with a toilet paper tube to fix my right hand...this is exactly what I did (and for hours.) She just had this beautiful way of teaching that allowed you to see your potential while also allowing you to shift your idea of "perfection" so that feedback became a beautiful part of one's soul rather than something to negatively dwell upon. It was the first time I did not feel hurt or saddened or filled with anger. I wanted more constructive criticism because I know she was only allowing the music to become that much more beautiful. And when you look at the constructive feedback loop as a melody-that's exactly what it turns into...something beautiful. 

I tell my students about this mentor, and I always tell them to think of constructive feedback as a continuous melody. You aren't removing but rather adding to your own melody to make it that much more beautiful. We constantly meet people in our lives who shape and change our way of thinking about the world-and this particular lifetime mentor and good friend probably made the biggest change in my life (without realizing it.) Her melody I try my hardest--to pass on to my students.