Well I think it's safe to say that picking a title for 2020 that reads: 365 miles of clarity is now nothing more than a laugh. Because 2020 has been anything but clear. But through the muddiness, the heartache and global and emotional devastation of this pandemic, perhaps there has never been a year that has been more clear. They say sometimes absence makes the heart grow fonder. In this case, I think absence of "normal" created stronger more empathetic and beautiful hearts. So this year was clear. Clear in terms of who we are. Clear in terms of our dreams. Clear in terms of what we value as people. Clear in terms of humanity. Clear in terms of what we long for socially and emotionally as people (young and old)

It was clear to me when havoc erupted in March of 2020 that I love my vocation because of the interaction with my students and not because of the countless tests or worksheets or sometimes even concepts we are asked to teach them. Teaching through a computer screen brings me very limited joy. And if anything, this pandemic (particularly in elementary) has proven that the best lessons learned when we are younger require socialization with our peers, discussion with our peers, the touch of our peers, the smile of our peers and so without all of that..there is little joy. Joy and learning exist because we are placed in a classroom together to make a family. A family that can get close to one another, touch one another, hug one another and ultimately feel the warmth of one another. 

But something that did become clear is that magic can be created even on the days where we feel magic has gone away for good. Despite the hiccups of technology, we created a family, we stayed in touch with family and for me, I did a much better job of using my phone to check in on people and friends, their emotions and their troubles. As humans, we yearn for magic and thus magic can be created from anywhere with anyone during any time. It may not be the magic we had in mind- but it is still magic. That magic still counts.

It was clear to me this year that sometimes in life we are forced to make others "feel" in a different way. And that was difficult because what should have become clear is, as humans, we rely on a sense of touch as a sign of love and gratitude. A little pat on the head to a student who is doing an awesome job goes a long way. So do hugs. So do kisses on the cheek. Even the closeness of being together in the same room on Holidays, by the fire and on the couch. So do sharing meals and passing around bowls of bread and pasta and good eats. So do smiles. Smiles that, as of 2020, could only be detected by looking at the eyebrows and the eyes. A smile is a sign of love. When you cannot see that, it's difficult to feel. So what did we learn? We learned to make others feel in a different way. We learned to feel through computer screen, through the warmth of a person's voice over the phone when we were just having a bad day. We learned to feel through texts and emojis and videos and art and sometimes music. We learned to feel through hand-written letters. We learned to feel in the classroom by making a point to really laugh when someone said something funny so we could hear the love. We learned to give more verbal compliments because a simple smile couldn't be seen. I think we were much more intentional about compliments this year. Because we wanted to do just that-make people feel.  Making people feel loved through words, through digital actions, through vocal intonation. It took extra effort-but it was worth it in the end. Some may say those were the "saving graces" of 2020. 

It was clear that life without family and life without traditions and life without the joining together of many people is just not a life at all. When you strip away everything, you realize all that matters is that sense of touch, the physical feeling of being those you love, sharing memories with those you love and memories are very difficult to create when the distance is so great. Life without people is difficult and so we collectively share in this new understanding of loneliness. It is clear that loneliness causes great pain. Sometimes the days of lonely blues and grays create feelings of anxiety or even depression. A monochromatic world of nothingness. And so it should become clear to us as people, that reaching out to someone who is lonely (since we have now all experienced true loneliness)- is essential. Because no matter where you were in 2020, you are lying if you didn't feel lonely, overwhelmed, hopeless, frustrated, confused, sad-at least once. 

It is clear that "this too shall pass." That this forced many of us to step out of our comfort zone and speak our mind, to better humanity and eachother even in small ways, to embrace change, to live in the uncomfortable, to feel vulnerability and to use that vulnerability to create more good. Be better. Dream bigger. Do better. 

If you haven't learned the true meaning of life and love in 2020 well then my heart does continue to ache for you. Because for most of us, I do think that as our hearts were aching they were also simultaneously learning the true importance of life and love and faith and dreams. Sometimes the tapestry of the world must rip in order to be truly and honestly mended. That we are all here for a reason. That we are given only one life to touch the life of another. That we are lucky if we are given a tomorrow-because some of us weren't so lucky this year. 

So it is my greatest hope that we learn from this ripped tapestry. That as we see the love of the world thread one piece after another that a stronger picture will be created. Threads with authentic love. Authentic faith. Authentic smiles. Authentic understanding and empathy. It's not "Goodbye 2020." It's "Thank you 2020." You can bet that we will take the lessons we learned to be better brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, teachers, doctors and carry those lessons as we enter into a new year. May you stay safe and well. And if you are so lucky this year-may you spend time with the ones you love the most. For time is fleeting and so is life.