Today was a day of sleep deprivation and jitters. Quite literally, it felt like everything was shaking inside of me. Interestingly, I reflected upon the times in which the jitters had occurred and I came up with the following memories:
- Tryouts (any instrumental tryout)
- Recitals
- Important tests
- Final performances
- Singing in Church
- Listening to others perform
- Watching the Sunset
- A large community race before the gun sounds
- My first day of my first job
- The last day of school
- Teaching alone for the very first time
- Playing the piano in a room with glass windows overlooking the beach in High School
You know, I used to think these jitters were a sign of pure nervousness. Now, more than ever though, I find these jitters to be a sign of my body telling me I’m being moved. Moved with sound, ideas, melodies, love and yes-even whimsy. It’s almost a physical response to wonderment and potential doors not yet opened. It’s as if your body is so excited, it’s shaking ahead of your smile, or even your coming words or thoughts of wisdom and passion.
I realized I was shaking in the direction of love because I had finally left my comfort zone-and it had been a while. I was anticipating dreams fulfilled and wonderment to come. Tomorrow I would watch others pass on their dreams. Already, I was so very proud. So, a few jitters every once and a while? I think if your whole body is shaking towards the excitement of a dream. Well-there is no more concrete feeling of an abstract whimsy.
this journal is a chapter in...
