Last year I got into a heavy duty running routine. I think there were a couple of factors in this. My vocation was a bit rocky that year, I was trying to plan my wedding all while remaining cheerful and positive, and my father was going through many rounds of intense chemo treatments trying to beat his cancer. It is safe to say that sometimes life just unwravels like a piece of frayed yarn. Sometimes it feels like the threads split all at once. 

So I thought to myself in December of last year, I am going to run the half marathon for the first time. I'm going to run and run and train and run. And I did. And some days I felt like I could fly. Other days I ran, and I had no idea where I was headed. Flash forward one year and many races, I had to take a small hiatus due to an IT band injury in the fall of 2018 through the holiday months. However, starting the last two weeks, I have gotten into a pretty consistent running routine again and man I have missed it. I thnk sometimes we convince ourselves when a good thing has gone that we do not actually need it. But let me tell you, running is needed in my life. 

I have asked some of my closest friends who are also runners, why they run, and I think the answer for everyone is similar but somewhat different. The other day as I was running I thought to myself do I run to "run away?" or do I run to "run towards" something. For me, I think it is a bit of both. You have the power and the freedom as a runner to be both running away from a problem but also running towards a problem at the same time. In my moments of running yesterday I was running off the frustrations of one problem but running towards the problem of a lesson I was creating inside my head. Whimsical that we are able to both at the exact same time. Sometimes I'm only running towards an end goal, a magical ending and sometimes I'm running away from that same magical ending I thought was magical on my previous run. Regardless, it is safe to say that I never know exactly where I am going. As my one friends puts it, it is safe just knowing that I need to put one foot in front of the other to just keep going and that's all I need to reassure myself that everything in my life is going to be okay. 

Next time you find yourself running or even walking with direction or without direction, start to contemplate which way you are going, towards or away from. It's possible you are doing both at the same time. That, is the magic and the whimsy of a good run.